Sunday, September 11, 2011

I miss you Mum

Dear Mum
Hard to believe that it was a year ago today that I last saw you.  A lot has happened in that time.  I left my job, went to another company that ended up in liquidation and found a new job as a contractor but am likely to be put onto a long term contract in the next few weeks.

The new house has been built and Raels and I have been here now for 6 weeks.   Funny but it is home already unlike the last couple of places I've lived.  Maybe that's because we've built this from scratch.  I wish I could have shown you what it's like.

I imagine you riding off on that horse you told us about in the last few days.  I don't know where that came from because I don't ever remember you talking much about wanting to ride horses despite loving to bet on them.   Maybe that was the little girl speaking.

I think I told you that Dad visited me one night not long after I'd moved into the flat on Burwood Highway and I sometimes wonder if you'll ever do the same.  But then again maybe you know that I'm happy now and that you don't need to set me straight.

Karen,  Deb and I celebrated Christmas together last year like we always used to, but I think that may well have been the last time we'll do that.  You were the glue that held that together and I'm guessing that we'll probably not find the time to do it too often in the future given the kids have grown and will be splitting time between the new families they'll make over the next few years.    Karen is off to Queensland this year to spend Christmas with Jacob and Jenna, Luke may be back In Adelaide and your other grandkids are also starting to spread their wings.  Spending time with old Aunties and Uncles doesn't seem as important as when they were little.    But don't worry about that, it's just part of growing older.

Funny but I was really conscious of you and Dad being gone last Christmas, my first as an orphan, and my first Easter and Mother's Day this year followed by my first birthday.  Weird being a 54 year old orphan.  Sometimes I get a bit taken aback looking at the old bloke in the mirror because it's not how I see myself.

I know what you meant now when you said that there wasn't a day go by when you didn't think of Nana and Grandad because it's the same with me.   I miss you both very much and wish I'd told you that more often.

You gave me a great start to life Mum and I will be forever grateful for that.  Sure there were moments, but we had a great upbringing.  I always knew you were proud of me even if I didn't know why.

Thanks Mum.  I love you very much and miss you terribly

Love Laurie  XXX


Josie said...

What a beautiful tribute to your Mother, she was blessed to have a son who loved her this much! It is obvious she did her job well, because you turned out to be someone she had to have been very proud of. For a mother, that is everything! I just know she is smiling down on you two in that lovely new house, and she knows how happy you are together.

Stephanie said...

"I always knew you were proud of me even if I didn't know why" Isn't that the part that gets you. This was lovely, Loz. I'm so happy that you're settled into your new place. I'm sure your mom's presence is as much there as it is in your heart. Love to you on this day. xoxo

Loz said...

Hi Josie
And thank you once again

Loz said...

And thanks to you too Steph. You're right I do still feel Mum - really strongly sometimes and others as a shadow out of the corner of my eye.