Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Great Expectations

I would rather read a book about Dickens than one he wrote himself.  Maybe that is a natural aversion to classics because of the reading we were forced to do in school, maybe it’s laziness or simply a matter of taste. Maybe it is that as a classic myself now, I no longer need to pretend to be the intellectual I sometimes thought I was when younger.

Although it is true I once had great expectations, I am now older and wiser and have learnt that expectations are often too weighty to be bothered carrying forever. Birthdays do this to us. Make us ponder the wotifs, the forks in the road taken or missed.  Often I wonder what would have happened had I just let the wind fill my sails and drifted not caring where I went.   There would have been good and bad in that, but maybe, just maybe, the expectations of others may not have been so warmly embraced by me.   And as I sit here thinking again, it seems to me that it was not my own great expectations that shaped who I am but the ones I soaked up from others in my life.

And I guess with that riddle still to be answered my whole midlife journey continues.

4 comments:

KayDee said...

The expectations of others can be quite a millstone round our necks and can drag us down from where we want to be. Yes Loz, my midlife journey continues too. I wonder if we will ever get to the end of the road or if it's a never ending journey that only ends when we leave this mortal coil.

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Guest said...

i think the reason expectations don't mean so much any more is that we are used to seeing them shot down by this age,, and the disappointment is no longer as great.. i would like to think i am going to get easier on myself the older i get.. that in itself would be a blessing..

happy birthday loz..

suzen said...

I think age does temper expectations. I agree with you about the Dickens and loved your comment about being a classic yourself. For that same reason I got rid of all my antiques - I AM one! Was happy to see you blogging again, by the way. Hope all is well!

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Nards said...

***Applause***

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