It was almost a year ago when we were heading off to Thailand on what was to be my first overseas holiday. I kept a journal and had every intention of typing it up for this blog but then I got sacked, had to find a new job, moved house and found a few other things to deal with like putting the blog into stealth mode for months because of some strange visitors. Anyway, it's a year on and I thought I would commence to post some of the stories of the trip. Here is the first.
4th February 2008
...on return to the hotel this afternoon we decided to have a massage special for 200 baht for an hour.
As luck would have it all the young masseuses were already busy so I got the matriarch of the crew. Now whilst she didn't look like another well known Melbourne matriarch [she had two eyes for a start] she shared her penchant for inflicting pain.
This commenced with a foot massage - toes ripped from sockets, feet bent indirections they were never intended to go, pressure points found in spots where I thought there was only skin.
It was totally silent in the room, the other six women who were being worked on all appeared to be in relaxed states of sleep or unconsciousness. The only sound were my grunts of pain or squeals when a finger found a particularly sore spot.
Every now and then she would stop and say something in Thai which I'm sure meant "Have a listen to this wuss", or, "Get a load of his weird little toes." And all the other masseurs would burst out with huge belly laughs.
Just when I thought it was getting safe again she told me to roll over. Now no one ever told me that a Thai foot massage meant that a Thai woman would walk up and down your back digging her feet into your spinal cord. I flet like Id been run over by a tuk tuk.
A couple of weeks later we had moved onto Chang Mai and decided to have another massage. Time hadn't made the heart grow fonder but had certainly dulled the memory of the pain of the first one. This time we were seated in chairs and it was a couple of young blokes who worked on us, just as painfully. But what I remember most is that when I took off my shoes the bloke working on me looked at my toes, nudged the guy next to him, said something I couldn't understand and they both burst out laughing. Are they really that weird?