The E who commented yesterday is not the person I thought it was and I want to set that record straight because it probably requires a different response from me. To the real E's credit she did send me an SMS to tell me.
Right now though I am off to hospital where Mum is being operated on so it will be a while before I clear it up.
Mum came through the operation and everything apparently went to schedule. She is very dopey and we won't see the surgeon until tomorrow morning, so I'll go straight over before work. My mate messaged and asked how Mum was which I really appreciated.
Now onto "E".
I have read again what I responded and I don't really see anything that I should change. Only thing was I didn't send this person an email. I guess that the same response stands and that is that I would ask you not to make presumptions about my motivations, about what you think was happening or why I stayed too long in your eyes. Believe it or not I too went through the sleepless nights and the grieving. Never ever think I didn't. But no one saw that because I hid it. That is another weakness of mine, I find it very easy to close doors and not let anyone see the real person. And it takes time to unwind lessons of a lifetime. Maybe for some of us it is the midlife period that becomes the opportunity to begin to understand ourselves. And maybe understanding comes too late for some of us to solve the problems we have.
The why is a question that may forever remain unanswered and do not believe that the same thing can't happen to you.
Finally, E what is your motivation in reading the blog? How did you find out about it? If I am unforgivable and gutless, if you have a total lack of respect for me and you believe I had such an inflated opinion of myself that I considered myself perfect, why read this? Do you do it in private? Do you discuss me openly with other people? Do you sit around and offer the sorts of opinions about me that you have expressed in the comment to anyone who will listen, or do you simply keep your own counsel? I am not paranoid about it, I just find it odd. I know that I cannot change your opinion and that any issues you have with me are your issues. I have no control over that. But know that I did enjoy the times when we were family. And everyone else should know also that despite a bad ending, the marriage had good times, many of them.
I assume [and yes I know I shouldn't make assumptions] that you think that the people who give me positive comments are wrong and that it may hurt you to see that others may hold a different opinion of me than you do. All I can suggest is don't read what I write.