Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The episodes of Life

I must admit I had been dreading Christmas Day mainly because last year sucked so bad when I had Christmas lunch alone and for the first time I didn't awaken in the same house as my kids. The lesson I learnt yesterday is that Christmas does change through time and that the phases whilst frightening in anticipation are perhaps simply a way of marking the episodes of life.

My earliest memories of Christmas are of days spent at my Grandparents houses. Like most kids, my sisters and I would be up early creeping up to the loungeroom to see if Father Christmas had come. We would then run down to Mum and Dads bedroom to awaken them, not knowing that they were already awake and waiting for us. After exchanging presents there would be the visits to the neighbours to wish them Merry Christmas and to exchange even more gifts and then sometime in the late morning we'd jump in the car and head off to Merlynston for Christmas lunch with my Dad's family. I've written before about how many of Dad's Aunts, Uncles and cousins, as well as his brothers and sister all lived within about five blocks of each other in that mostly unknown suburb in Melbourne's north, so after lunch there would be a lot of quick visits to half a dozen other houses in the area.

My memories of those lunches are of the smell of roasts taken from the wood fired oven mingling with that of freshly baked scones which I enjoyed with lashings of butter and vegemite. I know for those of you who like your scones with jam and cream that makes me a bit of a philistine, but that's the way I like it.

From lunch with the Joyce's we'd go to tea with the Smith's and there was a fair contrast from the gentility of Nana Joyce to the loudness of Nana Smith and the teeming masses of Brunswick. The house was full of cousins and aunts and uncles

But those days changed when my cousins got older and got married then spending time with their in laws families. Mum decided that it was time that Christmases were held at our place and my grandparents then used to travel to our place each year until they passed away. The aunts and uncles then also chose to stay away so those large family Christmases with the extended family passed with my childhood into memory.

Things changed again when my sisters and I got married and had our own children. We still come together on Christmas night at one of my sisters houses and all of the kids still come but in the next few years will no doubt have their own family obligations that will intervene.

Yesterday I waited for my daughter's phone call telling me it was now time for me to go around to their house and exchange presents - this year was also the first year they had moved out of the family home. So it was 8 am when I got the call went around, had a cup of tea, sat for a while and then came home to my own house. This year rather than eating alone, the lady I live with and I had a roast lamb dinner, then took the dog for a walk in a local park, before going our separate ways to family dinners. One day when the pain of separation eases we may be able to spend time with each others family on Christmas Day but till then I guess what we had will do. This year was not as bad as last year and I'm sure will get better as we all move forward.

And thus another episode of life moves from anticipation, or apprehension into memory never to be experienced again.


Gypsy said...

Time may not always heal but it does make the pain a little less intense. Maybe next year a lot of progress will have been made and Christmas will be different again, hopefully better. At least you weren't alone this time which I am thankful for. No-one should spend Christmas Day alone.

HollyGL said...

Its funny you mention the anticipation of the holidays. I've always found - always - that the anticipation is worse than making it through the actual day. It will smart a little less with each year that passes, Loz. You're doing a great job of rolling with the changes.

Beth said...

Loz - I am so glad that this year was better than last (gives me hope for my bother as well.)
I am also glad times with your daughters are getting easier. It will never be the same - but I am sure it will get better each passing year...

Dorothy said...

Loz, holidays are so dam hard. There is never enough time or energy for what goes on. We had four celebrations..I've decided it's an helps and makes things better for the kids. That is really whats most important.

Hope you make it through the tough and the ugly...seems thats 60% of life...

My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram