Friday, October 19, 2007

Fickleness

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
George Bernard Shaw

Those who have been reading here for a while will know that I try and spend one night a week with my daughters. Generally, we'll go out and have a feed together, maybe go to a movie. Sometimes we'll touch on the deep and meaningful and not being someone who finds it easy to talk about feelings that has been a steep learning curve for me. I have tried to answer their questions openly and honestly and reiterated many times that all they need to do is ask me rather than dwell on things.

This week I had a meeting on Thursday night so we had arranged to go out on Wednesday. That morning I got a message from daughter number 2 asking what time I was picking them up but by the time I got there that night I was in the bad books and she wouldn't speak to me. So something had happened during the day to make her cranky and I still have absolutely no idea what that was.

Daughter number 1 and I ended up going to the movies and saw The Kingdom which we both enjoyed.

So I'm not sure when I'll see the other one. I will call her this weekend and ask if she wants a chat. Apparently she thinks I don't listen to her, but that's pretty hard when she won't talk to me. I'm guessing this is a bit of the fickleness of a 14 year old female and that maybe next week when it comes time to go out again, that she'll be OK again.

So my darling daughters - if you read this, this song is for you.




23 comments:

chumly said...

Ah daughters, they make Dads grey hairs worth growing.

Loz said...

Welcome Chumley and spoken like a father of daughters :)

Gypsy said...

As a mother of two 13 year olds I can truly sympathise with you Loz. It is a difficult age with unfamiliar emotions running rampant, not to mention those evil hormones. I remember what I was like at that age and everything was a drama with me. Take a deep breath and strap yourself in Loz, the ride may get a little bumpy but once you arrive at your final destination it will have all been worth it.

Loz said...

gypsy - i hope you're right

Finn said...

As a former 14-year-old girl, I can say with confidence that it's not you, it's her. Try not to take it personally, even when it's directed at you. Hormones and all that you know. They seem to affect the girls worse than the boys.

This too shall pass.

Loz said...

Finn - is it fair to say that there is forever part of a 14 year old girl in the woman?

HollyGL said...

Oh, Loz, this is a situation where you just need to allow things to unfold. What I mean is, do just what you're doing. Don't force it. She'll talk when she's ready, and until then, just make your existence known to her through your calls, etc... It will be okay.

Loz said...

I am trying Steph. Been told not to bother trying to see her this week. She's angry and she doesn't want to talk.

Dorothy said...

My daughter who is 41 just told me today, that I continually talk down to her....is she kidding? I didn't even comment..so don't even give it a thought. When Sherry left I said I love you and ignored the dumb statement...

It never changes with kids..just love them don't try to hard to understand them they don't usually understand themselves...

Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma

HappyStill said...

You did it again with the tunes!
I am only sorry that this is a father tune and not a mother tune..
As a daughter and now the mammy of a 15 year old, can I say that parents of 15 year old are NEVER right and if ever by some miracle they are, they'll NEVER know about it.
The 'comfort' here is that if your daughter is not speaking to you, it's cos she knows that, when the time comes, you'll still be speaking to her. She can pick up where she left off as if nothing has happened in between. And that's because she loves you and she knows, without question, that you love her.
That's a magnificent achievemtn for a parent.
Teenagers.. can't live with them.. can't live... well... with them

Pen and the Sword said...

Hi, Loz... I nominated you for a little something over at my place ;o) Come see!

Chic Girl said...

Remember that girls put their Daddies on a pedestal. They are just suppose to be perfect all the time. Give her time and she will come around. She'll find comfort just in you trying to talk to her.

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Loz said...

Thanks Chicgirl - sometimes Dad's don't want the pedestal. It would be better to just have a conversation where you don't get called a thickhead :)

Loz said...

Azliyana - thanks for stopping by and good luck with your campaign.

FindingHeart said...

Loz, Mine is only 4 and I'm already concerned about her teenage years. ;) She was the difficult baby, is the stubborn one, and almost always yells for mommy first. Yet, the father/daughter bond gives us a strong connection and she will often do things for me more easily than her mom, (or her mum). We made a nighttime CD last year and this Paul Simon song was on it. Gave me a chance to talk to a 4 yr old about how a daddy loves is daughter.
Being separated from her during the divorce was tough. If she may be thinking that you don't listen, can you cellphone text/email her occasionally during the week? It'd be worth the expense if she felt that it gave her more access to you.

Loz said...

Findingheart - i have tried that and was given short shrift. But it won't stop me trying again :)

meleah rebeccah said...

whoever wrote "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" never had a daughter!

Nascar and the Canadian Curmudgeon said...

aaaahhh the life of a father with a teenage duaghter..having been through it.. I would like to help but..there was stuff with mine I still don't understand..she's 26 now and almost normal..which is a relief of some sort...

Loz said...

Mel - and the bloke who wrote "That's what little girls are made of" might have gotten it wrong as well.

Loz said...

Good to meet another curmudgeon but do you mean I've got at least another decade of this?

Josie Two Shoes said...

Loz, I have found that my daughter loves to find emails from me, even if she doesn't always respond. It's one way we can keep letting them know that we are thinking of them even when we aren't around. Do it (or the text messaging) without expectation of a return note - just do it out of love - they'll feel it, even if they seem to ignore it! I promise you it'll get easier after the teen years. Well... as easy as dealing with women ever gets! :-)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

OK, that song made me cry!
I also have an emotional 14 year old daughter, so I totally undertand - unfortunately, mood swings are just part of the deal at this age. It's frustrating and painful to watch 'em grow up, but don't worry...she loves you!!!