I am unsure if you will keep this response up, but thought I would send a quick reply due to all the comments I attracted by my earlier entry to you.
My original comment was triggered by anger and frustration, that had been brewing towards you for some time, I could have handled it better, but I do not regret what I said, as you know me, and you know I say what I feel, a good quality maybe not always, but I stand by what I said.
I find this very immature to even respond to these peoples comments , they dont know me, and they only know of you what you want them to know, There are two sides to everything and I know from reading these pages and knowing you and how very clever you are with your literacy and abilitys to write a journal, (something up until now I have admired), I know you are very clever in your writing and how you put things across to others is very well done, but I still say all fiction, you have buttered things up to seem like you are the one wearing the "Halo", as someone said.
In respect to your reply to me about the future catching up on you, I find that rediculious comment, you make your future, you dont just wake up one morning and discover you have hurt your life long partner, it dosnt just happen, all choices YOU made , no amout of sweet talking can change that, it dosnt sneak up on you.
I know my aunt will flip at me for this, but you put this out there for people to read, you are clearly seeking something from it, otherwise you would keep it private. I can understand that you would be seeking understanding and sympathy from people, given your situation, but is it all valid when it is coming from people who dont know you and only hear your side of things.
You decieved alot of people Laurie, not just your immidiate family, alot of people felt betrayed by you, including me.
This is my final comment to you, I wish you luck in your new journey, dont forget what it took for you to get there though and the people along the way.
As for your blogger pals, I will not stoop to retaliate to them.
I have never denied I lied, or cheated or that I hurt people, your aunt in particular. If by betrayal you mean that I turned out to be something different to what you thought I was, I plead guilty. I've turned out to be something different to what I thought I was too.
I have never claimed that I wear a halo. And of course this blog is from my perspective, I’m the one writing it. I didn’t tell your aunt about this blog. she found out from someone else, nor did I tell you so I therefore assume you found out from someone else too. I also assume that if you truly believe this should be private that you won’t pass the information onto anyone else. In lots of ways I wish I’d written it anonymously, it might have made things easier.
By saying that in your opinion all that I have written is fiction, you just confirm to me that you don’t know me at all. Not your fault, I don’t connect with many people, certainly don’t reveal everything to everyone. You can call that clever writing too if you wish. This is all part of my journey of self discovery. My selfishness if you like. Nothing is “buttered” up here, I am not looking to justify my choices, nor looking for vindication or forgiveness.This is actually the only place I have told part of my story, with the exception of my Counsellor. I assume that the rest of the story, the other side if you wish to call it that, has been told to other people by other people, maybe even by yourself. Certainly someone is telling people who know me about this blog and it's not me.
Despite what you may think about my “blogger pals” I have gotten solace from their comments and their long distance companionship. I don’t expect people to understand that either. And yes, it is as valid as anything. Weird the places you can find friendships.
My comment about the future had absolutely nothing to do with a denial that I made choices. It has everything to do with the fact that we don’t have any real idea what the future holds – thus it creeps up on you. I won’t go into the choices you’ve made here, other than to say that you too have made some that affect other people, and whether you like it or not, you will have to live with them. And right here, right now, you have no idea how that will turn out and whether the people affected will understand why you made the choices you have made on their behalf. If you want me to clarify that cryptic comment you know where to find me.
One final thing – don’t keep making assumptions about what you think my motivations are – I am not seeking either sympathy or understanding from anyone. This is about understanding myself. Sometimes a comment from someone else can make you look at things in a different way and that for me is a good thing. I don’t need to justify it to anyone.Believe it or not I am sorry for the hurt, sorry I didn't turn out the way you and all those other people you mentioned thought I would. I suppose you think that this apology is all about making me seem better than I am but nothing would be further from the truth.
Your Uncle Laurie
PS to my blogger friends - thankyou for your support, no point in keeping any flame wars going here. I deserve the anger and I'm not going to get bitter and twisted about it. I guess in some quarters it really won't matter what I say or how I say it, it may all appear to be self serving.