Saturday, June 2, 2007

A Bit of Space

I got an email from daughter number 2 asking me to give her some space. So reluctantly I replied and asked her to let me know if she needed me to run her around this weekend. I got no answer. I also SMS'ed her and asked her to let me know how her sporting contest went this weekend because in honouring her wish for space I decided to stay away for this week. But now, an hour later I still have no response.

Sometimes it is very difficult to understand where the line is. Do I stay away and risk alienation, or do I just keep turning up and hope that she's actually looking forward to seeing me? If she reads this I hope she understands that the space is reluctantly given and that I have no intention of this being a permanent thing. Like it or lump it I am her father.


Finn said...

Shoot her an email once a week or every other week to let her know you'll always be there for her.

She needs time to sort out her feelings and reorient herself. The rug has been pulled out from under her and she needs to adjust to the new reality.

I've discovered that part of being a parent is to stand by in the shadows and wait until we're invited.

This too shall pass. Hang in there.

paisley said...

daughters are strange birds,, i know because i am one... i would let things go for awhile,,, longer than she even expects it... and then do something silly like send her some flowers with a little note attached that says " i miss you...." i know that would touch my heart...

Micki said...

what finn said.. I know it doesn't make sense, but you have to make persistent contact with her without really expecting a response. Time and persistence will heal. If you completely cut off contact, even for a while, she will feel abandoned - it doesn't matter that she asked for space.