Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Slipping Away?

Particularly ordinary day today. You know the feeling when you anticipate something really good is going to happen and then you get an inkling that the opposite may be true. Nothing you can really put your finger on, just a feeling of dread that grabs the spine and knots the shoulders so bad that you've got to make a conscious effort to try and relax. And despite those efforts you can't seem to unwind.

The springs were wound way too tight for me last night. Didn't sleep. Felt crook in the guts and couldn't find that position in bed that would let me drift off. Tried counting sheep, spent hours watching the light show on closed eyelids and spent time trying to blanken my mind to find that spot where I could retreat and take stock even if just for a couple of hours.

There are days when things just seem to be on the edge of slipping away. Days when despite a sense of excitement that the apprehension just builds and fears become all consuming, when the future all of a sudden seems muddy again.

And in being in that unwanted place I am reminded of a quote from Norman Mailer's book - Armies of the Night -

Deliver us from our curse for we must end on the road to that mystery where courage, death and dream of love give promise of sleep.

4 comments:

paisley said...

most of my days seem to be on the edge of slipping away...i dont know if it is me,, or life... but i just keep hoping i will wake up next time and it will all be comfortable again...

Worldman said...

Hy Laurie. I have been extremely busy the last few weeks. I kept up posting but did not have much time "glancing" through my "favorite blogs". I did take time this morning. I have a comment on the "myLot". I am a member too, I have earned a little money only (again lack of time). But I think it is a great community.

I also did "leafe" through your posts. They are really "appetizing" and are contributing to our reading enjoyment. When you were launching your blog and had a few posts only, I thought that it could develop into something great. And already then, I included you in "My favorite items". I have done well by doing so.

And I encourage you on your midlife "analysis" journey. I have passed that period succesfully quite some time ago. And my conclusion: Any period of ones life is great.

I wish you are very nice day. Peter

Loz said...

paisley, i know one day i will awaken and the nightmare will have passed. i just don't know when that will be.

Loz said...

Peter I do thankyou for your link and your comments and it is nice to know that one day the tunnel ends.