Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Grey Days

You know those days when the murk seems to be all pervading. When distraction is easy and concentration on the task at hand impossible. This is one of them. Outside the skies are grey, inside my mind the mood is grey. And it's like that because someone I want to be around isn't and there's nought I can do about it.

Some time in the next week I know things will be clearer because there is a path being trodden here that one way or the other will clear away some of this all enveloping fugue I'm stuck in.

"Mother told me there's be days like this". She didnt actually but if she had said it I would know what she meant. I was supposed to see my Counsellor today but she rang and cancelled. Normally I stress about going because I don't know what will be revealed during the session. Today though, I needed to talk. Never mind, you readers will have to put up with some of my rantings.

May I ask anyone who reads this, and I know Paisley is a regular [and I thankyou for that], to maybe post a comment. I often wonder whether this is really an audience of one and if it really matters that it is only for one. The need to write is really something I do for me anyway but it would be good to know that other people do read.

Anyway, the grey day, has a while to go yet and maybe there will be a few more, but I do know it will pass. Eventually.

3 comments:

paisley said...

i used this sentence today on a reply to a comment,,, and then i read your post...

"it pours from me,, thick and syrupy,,,lifes blood exposed too long to the air.........."

the stuff you wanted to tell your therapist,,, the stuff you pour out onto the page,,,, here... so that i can feel you and you can feel as if your lifes blood is infact visable,,, to everyone,,,

that is what we are doing laurie...

we are exposing ourselves, or at least the parts of ourselves we need reassurance on...we are looking for someone to say its ok..

i read you every day,,, the days you dont write i check at least twice...for some reason you and i nearly a world apart,, think along the same lines maybe even at the same times... and i believe there is a reason we are both doing this... maybe its just so we can keep telling eachother... "i know,,, i feel it too,,, its gonna be ok...."

Lisa said...

I'd love to be a regular reader. Thank you for your honesty in your comment on my blog. Sadness doesn't blame, it just creeps in when it wants. I hope you find relief in writing your thoughts. Please stop by anytime, and I'll do the same.

Beth said...

Loz, I know the feeling - but I also know that I write more for myself than others. We are reading...