Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A grumpy old man

Counselling can be very confronting and I have to say there are a lot of times when I don't really feel like keeping my appointment. That's as much because I tend to avoid confrontation as it is about being fearful of having the truth revealed to me.

One thing I have been told in the past few weeks is that I spent a lot of time with my family apparently grumpy. Whether or not I felt like that, or whether I even believe it may have been true at times, is to a large degree irrelevant, because if that was other people's perception then for them it was real.

One of my daughters told her mother that since I left that they have bonded well and the house is a happier place. Now I would like to think that there is a bit of cognitive dissonance in that, because it is a very hurtful thing to think that things were unpleasant when I was around. I guess no one really likes the thought that they may be redundant and for a father, the thought that his children may believe they are better off with less contact is one that is hard to stomach.

I don't think I'm a bad father but perhaps I could be a better one.

1 comment:

paisley said...

we leave a relationship to further our own happiness or contentment,, it is just right that the happiness or contentment of those we left should increase as well....i think that is a good gage as to whether leaving was the right thing... if everyone is happier,, it is as it should be..a success on all fronts.