Counselling can be very confronting and I have to say there are a lot of times when I don't really feel like keeping my appointment. That's as much because I tend to avoid confrontation as it is about being fearful of having the truth revealed to me.
One thing I have been told in the past few weeks is that I spent a lot of time with my family apparently grumpy. Whether or not I felt like that, or whether I even believe it may have been true at times, is to a large degree irrelevant, because if that was other people's perception then for them it was real.
One of my daughters told her mother that since I left that they have bonded well and the house is a happier place. Now I would like to think that there is a bit of cognitive dissonance in that, because it is a very hurtful thing to think that things were unpleasant when I was around. I guess no one really likes the thought that they may be redundant and for a father, the thought that his children may believe they are better off with less contact is one that is hard to stomach.
I don't think I'm a bad father but perhaps I could be a better one.